Pastor E. Demshun

Pastor E. Demshun, ladies and gentlemen of the congregation,
Thank you, Pastor, for your kind introduction. I'm delighted to receive your endorsement and to be here meeting all your fine parishioners. And I have great news. I know you all have a wonderful faith, a tree, a rock, a staff to grasp, all of that, and that you believe flying saucers from the planet Zorotor are at this moment hovering just outside the Radar Zone waiting to dematerialize the whoring thieving Babylonian demon-afflicted perverts of this world as soon as the money thermometer over here hits 100 million bucks, but I am here to tell you that I can help.

We will create a health scheme such as this country has never seen before, and you will all receive psychiatric treatment and heavily subsidised medication. There will be centers for graduated care, nice clean places with well trained, friendly staff. You don't have to worry any more about the phone company putting that bad old electronic electricity in your heads.

There is hope, my friends, and it won't cost you a hundred mill, it will come right out of the funds we garnishee from fraudulent evangelical outfits all around the country, and from sales of the firearms confiscated from illegal militia like the one the Pastor runs down in the basement with all those eager, supple young boys he gets over here for the so-called Monday night study group.

Now, now, ma'am, don't take on so, it's the least I can do.